BOO ! (:

finally i'm blogging with com (: can use all th pretty colours :D
HAHA .
went mountain today .. its so near my place . gosh . i could just cycle there . maybe next time . when i finally get a bike that is .
SUPER HOT DAY D: Isaac and Ace boy went too . go there watch them clean th tomb , burn paper and pray .. ironic much . grandfather's a Christian yet they do everything th chinese way . oh well .
Ace is really a rascal .. like seriously . now he crawls super fast . and just now was playing with him . was feeding him th baby buiscuits then he will pretend t feed you . he will put his fingers inside your mouth and make sure you feel it then instead of dropping it , he retract his hand and then put th buiscuit into his own mouth . then he will laugh and clap his hands . super cute luhh .
i'm going t camp ! :D yeah (: LSCT gonna rule th whole school from 4-6 of april . whole school is ours . HAHAA . cant wait . excited ! th mother worry caz of th various ages that will go . say must stick t ppl i know . which is only qs .. pathetic . please please please dont let th ppl i dont like in LSCT go for th camp ..
im a happy and crazy fella now (: thanks t DADDY GOD , YAP XIUYUN , SYLVIA TAY RUITING , JACKIE TAN AND ME :D
awesome ppl that cheered me up a lot a lot . awesome ppl that always make sure that im feeling fine . where would i be if i didn't have you . i guess . i would probably be in IMH . especially tay and yap . we may be going thru th same problems and feeling th same way , but you guys never ever turn me away . and still encourage me along th way . i super love you guys .
and my dear jackjack , you arent forgotten . even though we dont talk that much anymore . you'll still be remembered . serious . and like we said , till th end of time . iloveyou ! <3

ACCORDING TO YOU (:

Awesome song intro-ed t me by JMAO :D
it's according to you by Orianthi ..
lyrics are below .
how true . one man's trash is another man's treasure . HAHAHA

According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless
I can't do anything right
According to you I'm difficult, hard to please
Forever changing my mind

I'm a mess in a dress, can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you, according to you

But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

According to you I'm boring, I'm moody
And you can't take me any place
According to you I suck at telling jokes
'Cause I always give it away

I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with that
According to you, according to you

But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

I need to feel appreciated
Like I'm not hated, oh no
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad, you're making me dizzy

But according to me you're stupid, you're useless
You can't do anything right

But according to him I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted

Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you, you
According to you, you

According to you I'm stupid, I'm useless
I can't do anything right

BOO ! (:

saw this on twitter (: “ I'm a strong girl who keeps her stuff in line. Even when I have tears going down on my face, I always manage to say those words; I'M FINE.” That's gonna be th new me :D HAHAHA . I'll be stronger than yesterday (: STRONGER ! haha . Some Britney spears song .. If only everyday was a Sunday . So fun . I love COOL <3 caz they're like super cool . HAHAHA . can't wait t see them on Sunday (:

BOO ! (:

So depressed :( yangyang playing is like woahhhh . Impressed . Ten years and first time hear . Yes I call him yang or yangyang . What's wrong with that .. All stare at me like I'm so weird liddat .. Even others also what .. Like minhui is just min and xiuyun is just Yunn and huiwen is wenwen . Very wrong mehh :( Me is a super crazy nao .. High for th past few days since Wednesday . Like never ending highness . Today's events just added on even more . So fun (: wheeeee (: officially lost it . Like super crazy . Hahaha . Now you get t see a whole new side of me (: yaye (: HAHAHA . I want t play handiplast ! :( stupid council .. Spoil our fun . Stupid until want make barricade also so fail .. Just do at th front then never do at th back .. Then we walk t classroom block there they say we in restricted area and say we climb over barricade . Ya right . Th school is connected one lehh . Back never do anything what . So we walk from th back lo . Finally next Saturday don't need go school :D alumni is fun de lo ! All th crazy people there ..

BOO ! (:

I HAVE TH POWERRRRR ! :D HAHA . forgot who said that .. I've got th power t resist temptation . Nehneh . I won't fall (: caz I'm strong (: let mama listen t ' before th morning' just now . She asked what I learnt from th song . Obviously I wont tell her . Caz if I do it's equivalent t sending myself t death . HAHA . I'm a happy happy happy human now (: I've got a smile on my face . And you won't be able t remove it . HAH . I'm like really really happy now (: I rock (: HAHAHA . idw wake up early :( bad bad ppl .. I want sleep :(

BOO ! (:

feeling awesome today (: I guess I sorted out my thoughts for now . Like what Jackie says . Life can be happy everyday . I'm gonna try t make it stay that way . There's this Hannah montannah song where th lyrics goes " life's what you make it ..... " yeah . I'm gonna live a life worth living . And hopefully I won't look back and say t myself that I was so dumb then . When you forgive someone too much, they feel they can take you for granted and walk in and out of your life as they please . Yeah . So I'm not gonna be th nice person anymore . Get used t it . I'm not gonna let you walk all over me again . Try that and you're dead . Daddy God , thankyou for giving me the strength . I will treasure this strength and make th most out of it .

BOO ! (:

Dear God , thankyou for th ppl that you've put in my life t help me thru th bad times . Which are happening more and more often . Thankyou for blessing me with these awesome people that never left despite th madness I put them through . They are really really awesome . People like Sylvia and Yunn and jackie who know my whole life story and how messed up I am and still Stand by me . And ppl like zhan that's beginning t see th real story . Thankyou for putting these ppl in my life . And for letting me see th true colours of some people . Thankyou for letting me really see who cares . And I really thank you for all these wonderful people . Without them , I would have gone insane .

BOO ! (:

super happy nao . Completely opposite of yesterday's crappy feeling . Haha . Tay after knowing th reason say I sadist . darling I'm sure I can find better man (: no point harping on that issue anymore . It's a whole new start and a whole new beginning (: like what G always says . Hell yeah ! HAHA . No link . Wtv . Not thinking straight now anyway . Fly away already . HAHAHA . thank God for th awesome ppl in my life. Thankyou for making me make that decision t go for cross-I . And for letting me be in a group of awesome ppl . And just so happens that I can now bug Gordon if I dont understand anything for school . HAHA . and for Jackie that's always being ever so awesome and for everything . im sutr you'll understand th mentality of girls eventually . Can start from learning how i think (: haha . I'll make what's written on your textbook seem wrong . HAHA . kaay . Thats rubbish . And th rest for being super awesome too (: Andrew for being Andrew . Fabian for being Fabian . Christine for being Christine . Clifford for being Clifford . Steph for being even more than awesome . Elsie for being Elsie . I LOVE YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU TOO <3 Wheeeee ~ I IS HAPPY NAO :D HAHAHA . "No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness - they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means - the only complete realist."- C.S. Lewis

:(

feeling like th world's greatest dumbdumb . Eh ! You're supposed t be happy now ! You just had a fun evening . Why on earth are you feeling so messed up and so wrong now .. Gahh . I just dunno luhh . This is super messed up luhh . I tried . I cried . I prayed . I asked . But I still can't find th strength . Idw t live like some pathetic loser anymore . Idw t be that weak anymore . Idw t feed myself with lies anymore . Why do you have that ability .. I super hate you . Why . I dont know why . Yes I'm stupid . It's been so long yet it's still like this . You may be happily living and gallivanting and idk what luhh . But I had so many breakdowns . Especially that one time when I saw sth . Yeah you and L relationship sour is all my fault . BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT . idw why . I just called him . And I just started crying While talking . If L and W weren't there during those dark days encouraging me . Today I'll be much worse off . Idk why . But th walls are crumbling down again . that's super bad .yes I super need a 强心针 real badly . Idw t be this weak and pathetic loser anymore . I just don't . I try t be strong but I'm just not that strong enough . Idw t fall anymore . This is th dunno how many time I'm repeating this . I'm just so messed up now .. Thanks a lot . INEEDTOBESTRONGER! LIKESOBAD.

BOO ! (:

all th sofa cushions are migrating t my room (: now I've got a super comfy bed . HAHAHA . my bed has two layers . Sort of like bunk bed but it's not . Top layer put all my soft toys and clothes that's just out of th wash . And I sleep below (: half th bed is filled with soft toys . And I dont sleep with a bolster . Very surprising mehh . Ppl all look at me and they go whatttt you don't sleep with a bolster . Got up super early today .. Dragged my sleepy self t church .. So that th gb girls can familiar with th songs for tmr .. Went school after that . Like CHONG yangyang said it's a Saturday ! Why go school . Bo Bian ma . first ever time I talk t yang for so long . Yaye (: he's my dear piano mentor but yet we never talk . Said my sight reading and play from score super zai and I'm getting th hang of playing slow songs and teach me how t play fast songs (: hopefully can master th techniques he teach and get more out of him before he go army . I'll be so lonely :( GAHHH . still can't play th marching out song without wrong notes :( dammit . Sad life . My hands can't move fast enough :( I'm tired .. I want sleep :( but th stupid brain keeps nagging at me reminding me of th things I've gotta do before tomorrow . Siannnnn . Back t making ailin card then practise th songs then hopefully th brain will shutup so I can sleep .

BOO ! (:

WENT OUT WITH PIG TH WHOLE DAY <3 super high th whole day :D that pig wore my slippers and I wore his shirt . Went jp watch big mama . So long never go out with pig .that pig say I smell Like onions . Wth . I never eat/touch onions lo ... Currently addicted t Savior , please by Josh Wilson . It's really an awesome song . Reminding us of how we need Daddy God in order t have th strength t face all th problems in life . Thankyou Daddy for always holding on t me and never letting go . And for protecting me and showering me with your love . I just fall in love with you more and more each day . Thankyou for just being who you are . <3

BOO ! (:

Last night post was super undetailed caz was super sleepy .. Anyways . Here's how camp went . Reached at 8.15 . Registration ends at nine . Cheat my feeling ask me go at eight . If not I can sleep longer . Mixed with small ppl all th way till nine plus . Program start . Yaye . HAHA . then th best part was prayer walk . While waiting I really didn't know what t expect . Was thinking would I even know how t do it . Prayer walk is really a time where can take your own time t think , reflect and pray . Sth that can't really do in fast paced life . Went in heavy hearted and came out lighter . Th power of God (: Day two was games . From church till superbowl . That was th distance . Walk up and down and up and down . For almost three hours . Then played captain ball for idk how long . Some fella step my foot and th fourth toe skin came off . Yes I was playing barefooted . Pastor allowed us stay up till two . Isaac taught me , min and evania how t play bass (: now I know how t play properly dy (: yaye Isaac (: so cool th bass . Is sth like piano liddat . Th notes . Hopefully will continue learning/practise or sth . So fun (: slept at one plus . Caz th small kid game we all dunno how play . I was freezing and th ppl say is warm . Ohman . I was wearing jacket zipped up and hiding inside sleeping bag and still use towel t cover and I feel cold . Sho smart right . I'm cold blooded (: Third day really slack . Ate tiger biscuits :D so long never eat . Drag myself t school after break camp . Dance th whole afternoon . Now muscle pain . And now sleep :D

BOO ! (:

back from APCC . real cool camp I must say . Really really showed us how reliable th bible is and what it says bout stuff . For me , personally I felt that th prayer walk was the best part . It's really a time where can really stop t think and reflect . And just let loose everything . Feel much more free now . Thankyou for making my mosaic life into a beautiful picture . And for taking away all my burdens and worries . Daddy God is the best . First ever time I wrote a letter t Him . During prayer walk I felt rather heavy/bothered . But after that I feel much lighter . It's like can really experience God . Awesomeness . Day two games was crazy . Run around whole Tamah jurong . Then play captain ball . Today went school dance whole afternoon . Now muscle pain . Sleepy now .. Finally can sleep on my bed

BOO ! (:

What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them .... Well I guess it becomes a whole load of scrawlings or noise . What for say it if you don't mean it . It's not a mouth hard heart soft thing .. It's more of a person entertaining you with their words kinda thing . I'm super sick of being entertained all th time . Just say what you mean . Is it that hard . Live in a world of lies if that's what you want . But please don't fill my world with your lies . Lies will only make me fall harder and th impact will be greater when I find out th truth . In " I'm perfect(l)y f(I)n(e) , tru(s)t me " , th word lies can be found . In " (s)(h)(e) be(L)(I)(e)ve(d) " , th words she/ he lied can be found . I don't want t live in your lies anymore . I'm gonna stand up all over again no matter how much effort or strength it takes . This time , you're not gonna bring me down . Instead , I'm gonna let you witness how strong I can be . And I'm gonna make you regret every single one of your actions .

BOO ! (:

STOOPID COCKROACH . I AM DAMM PISSED ALREADY AND YOU WANT T COME MAKE MY DAY EVEN WORSE . FLY IN FROM DUNNO WHICH WINDOW AND OF ALL ROOMS YOU CHOOSE T COME T MINE . STILL STAY AT TH DOOR THERE AND SHI WEI . WAVE YOUR STUPID ANTENA AND LIFT YOUR LEG UP FOR WHAT . TOO BAD . YOU MESSED WITH TH WRONG PERSON . NOW YOU'RE DEAD . NEHNEH . feeling super messed up . Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . I think I'm really going crazy .. Or maybe even depressed ? Wts . Maybe someday you'll see me in imh . Who knows . I have a very messed up life nao .. Like seriously screwed . Real bad . Idk why I'm even writing all this down when I know nobody comes at all . Except maybe a few . I guess I just need an outlet t vent it all . Idw t hurt my piano anymore . It suffer for a decade dy .. Underwent major op too . Few years back . Gahh . I am going crazy . I need someone t teach me how t be sane .

BOO ! (:

Planned t sleep early in th End sleep late . Woke up early in th end still left house late . Win Liao lo . Take super long time t pack my stuff etc . Reach interchange at 8:25 . Bus comes at 8:32 . By right service start at 8:45 and if serving must reach by 8:30 . Bo Bian then go cab . Lucky Josh willing t share cab .. Didn't expect him t agree . In th end reach at 8:30 and service start at 9:00 . If I know I take bus .. Save Money . I really love my pastor loads . His sermon s are really good and he makes an effort t talk t everybody . Today was talking t him and he ask if I ever thought about why am I studying . Tbh , I have never tot bout it before . Then he went on t talk bout diff stuff like if quit school now what do you think your life will be like , what kind of guy you'll be able t marry , what kind of house , etc . I have never ever thought so far . I think my husband gotta be super patient or got selective hearing . Caz I think I'll irritate him alot ? By singing random songs , talking t myself , doing stupid stuff . And a lot more . He definitely has t be able t tolerate this .. Or maybe by then I change dy . Who knows . Haha . Today's a screwed up day . Here pain there pain . Go toilet dunno how many times dy ..

BOO ! (:

TODAY I SHALL BE NICE AND SAVE ON MY PHONE BILL . SEE IM SO NICE . HAHAHA . WELL I GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT (: LOOK AT TH DATE MY DEAR AND YOU'LL KNOW (: HAHAHA . OH WAIT . I HAVE UNLIMITED . BUT STILL IM NOT GONNA WASTE IT ON YOU . yes I'm mean (: but I like (: if you don't like too bad . Hahaha . got no nice blogs t read anymore .. It's either change URL and never tell or blog dead or it's private . Secret#2 is so open on her blog dy . So Is not secret anymore . Anne stead with haowen . WTF . after knowing th story I'm so ................. IWANTBANDTHREE :( DAMMIT . I FEEL MORE AT HOME WITH TH CURRENT BAND TWO BECAUSE ALL MY BAND THREE PPL ARE THERE ! :( WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME GO BAND TWO :( GRRRRRRRRRR . LATER GOT PRACTISE . I AM SORRY BUT I AM KINDA NOT LOOKING FORWARD T IT . CAZ TH GUITARIST IS SO ........ CHANGE KEY NEVER TELL ME . AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES TALK HE TALKS T TH FLOOR PLUS NO EYE CONTACT . HOW TH HELL AM I SUPPOSED T KNOW THAT YOU ARE TALKING T ME . GOING OUT WITH MURDERER GANG IN TH AFTERNOON <3 THIS POST IS FULL OF CAPS . LIKE PRACTICALLY TH WHOLE THING . NO IM NOT JIDONG . I JUST LIKE HOW CAPS LOOK . YES IM LOOSING IT (:

BOO ! (:

mummy why you don't want t give me an elder brother :( I'm like jealous of those with elder brothers ? Just when I tot I found one awesome kor kor in church , he turned out t be bloody fake . I used t envy his sis for having such a brother . Now I don't anymore . he is a fking liar . Mummy why can't you see thrru it . Stop asking me why I'm not talking t him and stop asking me t go talk t him . I.HATE.HIM . like super duper hate . I abhor/any other word that means hate him . I hate th fact that I got cheated by him . I trusted him yet he screwed everything up . Thanks for screwing up my life in December bitch . You singlehandedly messed up and me and deb had t clear your stinking mess . When pastor said they were gonna cancel if can't find ppl you know how anxious I was . I bet you don't . You bloody coward . Thank goodness Daddy provided for me and gave me ppl . If it was really cancelled I would hate you even more . I just feeling like shouting in your face t ask you t stfu and go away and stop bothering me . Th fact that mummy still keeps in contact with you irks me . Bloody hell . We are not ATM . You want sell your product go find th richer ppl . I fking hate you . 3:47am . Ahh whatever . I don't care . I don't wanna be th eldest . I rather be th youngest . And I know it's impossible .. So yeah . Grrrrrrrr . I know your secret and I know your secret too and I know your secret three . But I'm not gonna spill . Secret #1 dammit why did I have t find out . Thanks t you . Ask me cook dinner then I flip thru cookbooks then i saw sth inside . Secret#2 I hope you don't have a happy ending . Yes I'm mean . Whateverrrrr . I don't care . Ahh whatever . Get a grip you nut . Stop losing yourself . Gahhhh . Screw it . Stupid . 我不是纸。不是用完丢掉。我是人！应该被珍惜！ Shutup lahh crazy . Go sleep lahh . Yes I'm talking t myself . Yes I'm crazy . Deal with it .

BOO ! (:

Tug of war is a stupid game .. 我不玩了 。。 好想放弃 。。但就是放不了 :( stupid girl . Go sleep lahh . It's 2:44am ! Wtheck are you doing . Stop thinking bout stupid stuff . I don't know about tomorrow I just live from day to day I don't borrow from it's sunshine For its skies may turn t grey I don't worry o'er th future For I know what Jesus said And today I'll walk beside Him For He knows what is ahead Many things about tomorrow I don't seem t understand But I know who holds the future And I know who holds my hand Girl you gotta pull yourself tgt ! Daddy's always holding on t your hand ! Don't worry bout things all by yourself . Stop thinking so much ! Your head will only Hurt more . Now get your head on th pillow and get some sleep . It's three already !