another door will be opened (:

when one door closes another will be opened. lead to a place filled with so much better stuffs (:
well i guess my plans is not His plan. what i want may not be what He wants to give.
disappointed but i guess He knows what is best.

so didnt get into maincomm. but it's okay. well, now dont need to choose between oac and oip anymore. cos if get in must think. well now with the results out, there's nothing to hold me back anymore. can just go for shanghai trip (:
was selected out of the almost hundred people. so should make the best out of the chance given to me (:
well i guess is also good in a way cos dont have so much things to stress over and more time for other stuff too.
cos honestly i have no idea where my new journey with frogpole will lead me to. and also how this journey will be like.
kind of trying to bond with the kids. guys are friendly, existing leaders are helpful, girls are shy? idk. hopefully this will be a fruitful and fun journey (:
hope i dont let isaac and yang down. hopefully can be a good friend/role model to the kids.
no experience in anything at all. but i know He'll bring me through.

studies are just so ........ super lagging behind. with common tests just around the corner, hopefully can find enough time to study everything. stresssss D: also with all the ycamp stuffs D: bangwall:(

on the bright side, today was lab with briek :D he so cool luh! and nice to look at. hahaha. think today totally spoil impression D: cos was looking at stuff and talking to nev and very noisy and he look over and ask what happen. sighhhh. Last CEL today :D no more reports to write after i finish the current one :D

so today. yahhididcryforawhile. so what. i dont care. cos i got the love from my dear RRs and jiajia and friends <3
have i mentioned that i have the sweetest freshies ever. THEY ARE THE SWEETEST EVER <3
texted gerald and kim with this one sentence "i didnt get in" and their replies can make you gan dong until tear de. haha.
just so happen that ewt having director talk thingy then saw jamie and chunkiat. this cute girl asked me to cheerup even though i didnt say anything to her. and chunkiat told me that everything's alright and that this kind of thing dont need care de. even now, my dear kim still asking if im alright or not. went to look for jiajia after lab. thank God for putting that sweet girl in my life <3 gave me one hour of her time and talked to me and cheered me up (: and also for froggy! unexpected but had a nice short talk with you (: love you all so much <3 feel so blessed (:

idw my impression of you to change totally. not change for the better but for the worse. i really dont want that to happen. but im sorry. your actions have just made all our impressions of you change. always we have respected you and had very good impression of you. but now, it's just all gone. just that one thing that you did. it spoilt so many people impression of you. is this what you really want.... idk.. just.... all the best to you.

So for the past seven weeks ... Almost everyday in school . First five weeks planning and preparing for foc . Sixth week foc . seventh week csop and d4f . And school's starting in 10 hours ..
So foc ... Fun , laughter , tears , anger . I think almost every emotion also have . Day before foc got the clear pump thing .... At first was damm pissed and the more the person out there talks the more i scolding inside .. Then somehow just towards the end already then start crying .
So foc . Human chain . Damm boring . Stand there feed mosquitoes .. Stupid Joshua still laugh .. Say from before he gym till he finish I still there ..
Then went to continue do telematch setup .
Then at night A&D . Stupid shirt become so translucent .... Pirate cove got so many presents . So so so many bruises . Most memorable thing would be the part where we thought the freshie really having menses . She wear red shorts . Then when she sit the water turn red . We all stun and thought is menses but actually is just her shorts de colour come out . If really is I think we all cry le . Caz the water got make our faces .
Next day . Station game . Shooting stars :D even though tie bomb bag till got blisters , was super fun . The company was awesome . Sit there talk and laugh and tie bomb bags .
GL skit ! So fun :D glad that all enjoyed it .
And then night walk . Got successfully scare freshie :D hahah . But also feeding mosquitoes D: end up with 30+++ bites :( the rain spoilt all the tunnels :( then no more scary feel ...
Last day : finally get to interact with my dear RR freshies . Super cute people . They rmb my name (: (: so sweet . Even acted out the skit again for us before leaving .
Then the super damm long debrief and all the nonsense . Then somehow become mass crying session . Unexpected things happen . Gambit like all hug and cry tgt . It's been a year . Love you guys so much <3
And csop . Glad that my class rmb me .. Think I didn't really do a good job as welfare . Never really entertain them that much . Sometimes even don't know what to say or do .
Really love RR freshies <3 Kenny like so sweet (: (: and they all so cute . Can I hug them all :( stupid Gerald cheat my feeling . Say he not RR de .
Oh wells .
Kinda glad for this foc . Bring so many of us closer (: closer to ain Carissa weisheng and many more . Ytd's outing they really take care of me (:
Gonna miss them so much ! :(

SHANGHAI;HANGZHOU;SUZHOU;SHANGHAI

Back from china :D
Super fun and enjoyable trip . Like best ever . So much better than Thailand tip .
First day was at shanghai . Good thing the tour guide accent not super strong and he don't have typical china face . Haha . Then went many places .
Orient pearl tower , wax museum , etc .
Second day at hangzhou . The local guide there most impressive . Can speak English . And the scenery there is wonderful . Went to watch the story of west lake performance at night . And the next day went to tea plantation . And eat dong po Rou . Fat die . The special part is the fat ...
Scenery at west lake is (Y) damm nice !
Next went Suzhou ! Went silk factory and can't rmb what else . Then back to shanghai ! De ren jewellery shop and tong ren tang medical hall then Night cruise along the bund . Won twenty over small pink and white pearls there (: caz guess most close to actual number of pearls in the shell .
Then next day shopping ! (: but nth to shop luhh . The places went to got Nothing I like ..
Bought kuma phone cover after hunting for so so long . Touched . Dad run around whole shopping center to find it for me . Didn't know until someone else told me . Say thought he rush around to find sth he want but actually is to find my cover . Then bought earphones too . Not original but still is good .
Stayed at uncle Ronnie's house . Damm nice the house . Three levels . Slept at second level . The rest slept at third . Got this antique bed there . His family heirloom. Then koup the tea leaf pillow . Damm nice . When sleep got the tea de fragrance and wake up hair got smell also .
What I miss most would be the weather and flowers ! Super super nice . Can don't open window or on aircon/heater and it's still cold .
If can I don't mind staying there also . Very very nice place there . If got chance I would want to go back again . Really nice place and experience .

stupid day .
which part of 930 do people not understand ...
stupid . wait till what . almost eleven then start the meeting .
then blahblahblah . all the stupid stuff that happen .
then the good stuff .
thank goodness my dear girl's intern is in school :D
then can go find her .
that short phone call and that meetup where just pour everything out and talk random stuff really made everything feel better (:
thankyou dear <3 hope you weren't late for your next appointment .
then chat with imran while waiting for the rest to come .
like what he say is true lo . keep saying family . but where's the family. there's no family . i dont feel it . and it's been almost a year ?
talking about the bond, the one that i could really feel would be for s&w group. that one is really can feel the bond super strong . super love my CHICKEN <3 . though it was just three weeks of knowing each other, can really really really feel the bond .
then dinner :D CRAB :D :D damm nice the crab :D
talked bout everything and anything and just had a great time there (:

the love and respect for The Wanted is like so hard to explain. maybe you'll just call it an obsession . but it's not . they are more than a band. they really care . like today when it wasnt even their fault they tried to make things better also . and how often do bands/singers write songs with their fans in mind . and the song is still specially like trying to say that they will be there for us . dont get why people compare them to 1D also . they are different ! like what Tom said , the reason why i like the band is because of the music. the songs are songs that can relate to. and their looks and personalities are just bonuses. they are amazing people <3
so here's the song that they wrote for us (:

I'll be your strength - The Wanted

This is not gonna last forever
It's a time where you must hold on
And I won't let you surrender
And I'll heal you if your broken

We can stand so tall together
We can make it through the stormy weather
We can go through it all together
Do it all together
Do it all

I'll be your strength
I will, I will, I will
I'll be your strength
Yes I will, yes I will

I won't sleep till the sky is calmer
Keep on searching till I've found you
And my love will be your armour
In this battle field around you
Hand in hand we walk together
We can make it through the stormy weather
We can break down walls together
Do it all together
Do it all

I'll be your strength
I will, I will, I will
I'll be your strength
Yes I will yes I will

Hold on
Hold on
I'll be.. there soon
So hold on
Hold on
I'll be ..there soon

So hold on
Hold on
I'll be.. there soon
So hold on
Hold on
I'll be there

I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be
I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be


I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be
I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be

I'll be your strength
I'll be strong for you
I'll be your strength
And I'll keep strong for you.

i.dont.know.

How to choose . Between training and pulse . There's not even a choice ! Because training camp and foc is compulsory . Go training camp = cannot go worship prac . Which means two months no play . Saw the disappointment in yang's eyes but he still very understanding and say it's okay . But it's not okay . I feel bad luhh ! And now opening up the planner I saw prep camp + actual foc got one of the day is Sunday . Tell me now how . That Sunday just so happens to be the Sunday that we have to go to the new cells . And yet again have to disappoint yang . I really don't know how . Both important to me . Yet I can't make a choice of which to go because one is compulsory ! But the other is a responsibility . ugh ! This WEEK's challenge : love the unlovable . Now I'm like super angry with myself already . If don't love self how to love others . Ugh . Confirm cannot meet the challenge one luhh ! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

up up here we go ~

exams are 3/4 over :D last paper to go .on Friday though :( on the bright side ,more time to play and rest first .hehehe . Tmr going out play the whole day D: going gardenia factory then go pungol park . Take it that giving brain a break ba (: So far the papers have been idk ... Not very confident :( hopefully can score bahhh . Icbe today was ...... :( cheated ! You say similar to that question then come out so different :( sighs . Saw mama and roypa at busstop after paper . Saw mama before paper too (: They so cute ! Love them alotalotalot <3 Second time roy cheered me up le (: haha . But this time got mama also (: just finished the tea only (: Thank God for awesome friends (:

:(

Stupid back's killing me .... :( So Sunday was just a bit pain. Like really little . Then Thursday slipped and hit the same place that pain and tada . More pain . Irritating thing . Just makes you want to lie there do nothing . Which I cant . Caz is exams . Today not really there when woke up but when squat down the pain just bam . Just came and dont want go away . Other than the top left back that's been hurting , now the tailbone? Also ? Sighhh . Pain go away okay .