BOO ! (:

Idk if you come here anymore .. Idk if you even bother coming t read bout my pathetic life anymore .. I really dunno .. But if you do .. Here's what I gotta say t you . It may be long but pls bear with me . It's what I really feel deep down inside .. Shall start with what a friend posted on fb . I believe you have read th first half . I sent it t you .. But i didnt send second half .. anyway here goes .. " a friendship always takes two hands t clap and can only be true when both parties pour out their soul t each other . Otherwise how can it be considered a friendship if you can't even open your mouth and tell th other person what's troubling you ..? 神雕侠女 showcases one of th greatest love story in yang guo and xiao long nv . Yet when they finally met after 16 years of separation , her first words are not 'I love you' or 'I miss you' or anything similar . Her first words were " guo-er what's troubling you" none of us are mind readers . Not even th deep love they share gave her th ability t read his mind . God gave us friends t confide in . It is with friends that we share our burden and continue our journey in life . If we can't share with our friends , who else can we share with " After being through so much . For me its more like dependence . It's sth like this scenario . I'm lost in th vast sea of deep blue and I'm afraid of drowning so bad that I'm clinging t a log that's stagnated and rooted t th ground . I don't wanna let go caz I'm afraid I'll drown . I just don't have that courage t let go . Even though I know I won't get back t dry land . Caz th log is rooted t th ground and it's in th middle of th sea . No matter how rough th sea is or how cold it is . I just don't have th courage t let go and find my way t dry land caz I'm afraid I'll drown . Since day one . Th day when I started telling you all my problems . It has become a habit . It's like 我太依赖你了 . I just don't know how t get up . Give me time . I promise I'll change . Idk how long it'll take . I know bombing you with my problems makes you irritated . I'm trying t change that habit . I swear I am . I know sometimes it's like super trivial matters . But I still bother you with them . I'm really sorry . I really need time . Time t learn how t let go and time t gather enough courage t let go and find my way back t dry ground . It's tough and I may not have th strength t do it . And please give me time . Not replying wont help . It'll just make me cling on even tighter . I know it may be too much t ask . Caz you have t deal with your princess' and your own problems too . I really really need time . Ppl have been helping me . But it all boils down t willpower . I guess I'm not that strong after all . I'm just a weakling . Refusing t let go . Just a coward . Too afraid of drowning . Just too selfish . Caz I don't wanna share . I'm just that pathetic . I'm really really really sorry for always bothering you with my problems . I know you really care . But sometimes being too dependent will only bring a person down . I am trying my very best t be independent . I hope you'll understand and give me time . I'm really really really really really really really sorry . Now you finally know what kind of a person I am ... I'm really really sorry . This is me .. Th real me .. Stripped of all th masks .. Th plain old ugly truth .. Now you know what I really am .. Idk what you'll think of me after reading this .. But this is all my 真心话 .. And you'll forever still be regarded as my brother .. As long as I live . If one day sth happens , and I loose my memory . Pls make me remember you . I know you'll think of a way somehow . Caz I know that you know that I value this friendship a lot and it means loads t me . I really hope our friendship withstands th test of time and th trails we may face . I really really hope when we're old , white hair and crinkly and maybe even toothless . We'll still remember each other and still be able t sustain this friendship that we have . And still go out tgt . Maybe just t walk walk or for tea or coffee .. I know we said friends till th end of time . But I really don't have faith in myself .. Idk if i'll screw this up or not .. Every single word . I meant it from th bottom of my heart . I swear it's all true . If you do read this ... Pls let me know .. In some way .. Idk what way .. I'm sure you'll have a way somehow ..