:(

feeling like th world's greatest dumbdumb . Eh ! You're supposed t be happy now ! You just had a fun evening . Why on earth are you feeling so messed up and so wrong now .. Gahh . I just dunno luhh . This is super messed up luhh . I tried . I cried . I prayed . I asked . But I still can't find th strength . Idw t live like some pathetic loser anymore . Idw t be that weak anymore . Idw t feed myself with lies anymore . Why do you have that ability .. I super hate you . Why . I dont know why . Yes I'm stupid . It's been so long yet it's still like this . You may be happily living and gallivanting and idk what luhh . But I had so many breakdowns . Especially that one time when I saw sth . Yeah you and L relationship sour is all my fault . BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT . idw why . I just called him . And I just started crying While talking . If L and W weren't there during those dark days encouraging me . Today I'll be much worse off . Idk why . But th walls are crumbling down again . that's super bad .yes I super need a 强心针 real badly . Idw t be this weak and pathetic loser anymore . I just don't . I try t be strong but I'm just not that strong enough . Idw t fall anymore . This is th dunno how many time I'm repeating this . I'm just so messed up now .. Thanks a lot . INEEDTOBESTRONGER! LIKESOBAD.