You shoot me down , but I won't fall

December. Indeed a month full of thanksgivings. Despite the fact that there was CT to dampen the mood.
Really didn't have the motivation to study but thankful for the loves that kept encouraging me and also for Fangyou that helped me out when I didn't understand stuff(:

Dec camp! Shit happens. Moving on.. so proud of the boys (: (: seeing how they grew and how they take care of the buddies. And also how they bonded with each other. Hearing them share and how they want to come back and help again. Somehow it just touches your heart and warms your heart.

Had quite a special Christmas this year. Starting with the candlelight service where COOL was COOL again :D all tgt and suan-ing the leader (: really miss those times.
this year, Instead of the normal friends/family at someone's house or cafe, went to sentosa for Christmas (:
First time kena drag and throw into the sea. and also first time trying martini.
Short but fun time there (:
Really wow-Ed by Derek jnr and zen's house.
Derek can bake. Tarts, logcake. All like those that you can buy in shops. At first thought he was kidding. But really all made by him.
Zen's house is freaking big. And had the honor of having the "king" cook dinner for us. Even though its just Maggie,hotdog and crab stick. Thankful for the time that we could have.

The boys have really grown :')


Babygirl, even though I'll never know how you'll look, always know that iloveyou. Was looking forward to your arrival to this world. Just two months plus more. But I guess stuff happens and sometimes circumstances are just blah.
I'm sure you'll have lots of fun with the angels. Endless days of fun, joy and laughter. A place where you'll be all healthy and strong. A place full of rainbows. Till we meet again....

Even on my weakest days, I'll get a little bit stronger

was randomly searching for stuff and came across that song (: a little bit stronger (:
Yes. Even on my weakest days, I'll get a little bit stronger!

Finally managed to really sleep. Without any disturbances. Well I guess partially is due to the fact that turned data off. And also was really tired from all the happenings.

Problem upon problem upon problem... So many problems. Sighs.
Friday morning was really the last straw. Like how much can one withstand. Friday just felt like shit and head in all places but what I was supposed to do. Almost missed the mrt stop too. Didn't even realize till the last minute..

Somehow the song "above all" played in my head. Went to watch the video and after the first few sentences, started tearing. Yes indeed, You are above all things. You are in control of everything. Thankyou for reminding me tht I'm not alone and I don't have to shoulder all of this alone. You are always there to share whatever load I have.
Under the related videos , the song "in Christ alone" was like screaming click me! My comforter, my all in all. Thankyou for using the songs to speak to me and also act as a comfort.

I guess things started picking up from there. Turned off phone cos didn't want to see anything else at all. And so the lazy bum went gym. Like what momo said, running releases some idk what thing and really felt better after that. Plus the awesome lunch to follow (:
And saw MJ and Weijie on the way home (: (:

And really thankful for the sleep. Reached home and crashed. Only woke up this morning.

Funny how things can change in just one month.... Looking back at the previous post.... Everything has changed. And when I say everything, it's really everything....

I'm a mess. I'm a wreck. I'm breaking/alr broke down. It's almost three weeks. And yes, I'm still fighting this psychological battle with myself. Do you even know what I'm going through. I bet you don't. So much for claiming that you cared huh. Since you alr broke your promises, what else can I ask from you. Well, nothing's left. Nothing's left to hold on to.

Ever since I fell sick till now , the number of times I cried is like the number of times I cried in the past year. Yes that's how bad it is. I trusted you yet you used my weakness and fears against me. Do you think that makes you stronger or mightier. and so you asked why I cried. I couldn't possibly say to your face "because of you".

It fking hurts to know how you changed so quickly. From a priority to a freaking dispensable option. That feeling sucks. Yet I can't do a single shit about it. Do you even know how disgusted/turn off I feel whenever I see things. Do you know how much I hate it. Do you even know I wish my sixth sense didn't exist at all. So I won't feel all this shit. No you don't even know. Cos you moved on. What's left is me in your dust, trying to pick up all the pieces and move on. Suddenly pulling apart. Putting that fking huge distance between us. How do you think it feels. Well maybe you don't feel anything. But let me tell you it hurts.

Just this week, I was ready and prepared to face my fears. And you. What did you do. You backed out. Do you even know how disappointed we all were. Oh wait. Disappointed isn't even the word at all. What if something happened. Do you not know that there wasn't enough people. There was no medic at all. It was really lucky that nothing happened. And everything went well. I guess your reason is just pure bullshit. Since then. How many lies have you fed me with. Tbh, I just got tired of counting them. I gave up. To feel the hurt when I find out its yet again another lie is so not worth it.

This shit has got to stop. This battle has to be won. I can't go on like this anymore. I can't even eat properly. And all I want to do is just sleep and escape reality. And I cannot let you affect me anymore.
For the past month, I don't know how my body survived. Food rejection, shitting out who knows what, and all the hurt and tears. all my shorts have become loose. wearing them with belts is such a hassle. Constantly pulling them up is another hassle. proud of my body to have survived. But how long more can it take all these... Even the strongest body will fail after time.

No I'm not blaming you for anything at all. This whole thing may just be all my fault. I just don't want us to go back to the beginning. Back to the point where we were strangers. But this time, strangers with memories.

Really thankful to the few who stood by me. Endured all my rantings and my complains and my mood swings and my tears. Thankyou for being honest with me and being there for me and being my listening ear. Without you I swear this would be so much worse. I will win this battle. Not immediately but over time. I will emerge stronger than I was before. And I will not let my guard down so easily anymore. Thankyou pa, ma, momo, mat,ningx,siangz,Derek and gaz <3 I will get better!

I found you (:

So many things have happened in the past month.. So many happy memories. Memories created that will last for the whole lifetime (:

Firstly, 19092012 ! :D THE WANTED CONCERT ! :D managed to see my five gorgeous and talented guys again after a year. So kewt ! :D nath's voice when singing live is (Y). Me likey. Supersuper nice. That night was just magical. Glad that bought pen a tix. Cos nath and Seev were there most of the time :D :D

Moving on... Sept comm family :D

SEPT COMM FAMILY <3 hehehe thankyou for making my past 6 weeks of holiday so fun and meaningful (: (:
Meeting each other almost every single day. Going to so many places. Packing cookies and making pizza at apsn. Playing lanterns. spamming photos. eating tauhuey. fly kite. and so much more. Thanks for the memories (:

Papa, mama, gege, jiejie, ningx and fling <3 thankyou for all the joy and care.

And lastly, my dear zhu! (:
Thankyou for always making sure that I'm alright. And for looking out for me and just being the awesome person that you are (:
Even though we only like really know each other for almost one month only after the whole seven months, I don't get how you can just tell if I'm hiding stuff from you or not. And sometimes can even just guess what's wrong. Why you so smart huh... And your reason will always be "cos I'm your zhu ge". Tsk. but even so, Thankful that I have such a wonderful bro(: loveyou<3

Friends like you guys. To treasure and to keep forever. <3

Magically Disney <3

Theme for camp was Disney, hence the title.

Being part of comm= don't really have alot of time to interact with the buddies. However, still really greatful for the short times that I could spend with some of the kids. Dancing with chunfa at the campfire and closing, playing with Malcolm at the pool and also my dear boy Taufiq.

Glad to see familiar faces at the camp. Seeing their smiles and how they enjoy the camp/activity just makes you really happy and makes whatever effort you put in really worth it.

Wasn't really expecting them to rmb who we were. But when they came up to us and say "hey, I rmb you!", it's just that kind of indescribable feeling. Where you know somehow you have touched their lives during the previous camp and cos of that, they rmb you. Tbh, I was feeling quite sad on the first night cos my buddy from the previous camp didn't come and also another buddy from my grp last year only rmb his volunteer. But on the second day, it just so happened that I was serving Malcolm his lunch and he looked at me, smiled and said "I remember you". That really made my day (:

Moving on to my buddy, Taufiq (:
Well, I guess this dear boy is mostly misunderstood by all. They say he doesn't talk and he only relac at one corner. But I beg to differ. If they had made the effort to talk to him and engage him in the activity, it would be really different. Managing to get him to participate in the activity is already a step.Seeing the smile on his face and the happiness he's feeling while he carries out the activity really just makes me really really glad. Seeing the way he's being treated, it just feels really sad. The memories with you, I will never forget. Even those simple words you said, like "sweet", "bus" or just the alphabet, hearing you speak also brings joy to me. Being able to see the smile on your face, is the greatest reward. I really hope next year you'll have a better time (: till then, you'll forever live in my heart. Thankyou for showing me how simple things can bring joy to me.

The kids, are really awesome. Simplest things can make them happy. Through them, really can learn stuff. If given a chance, I would really love to volunteer again for YCC sept camp. Not as main comm but as a volunteer. To experience that joy and indescribable feeling that the experience brings.

You make my world go round (: <3

Never imagined I would have so much fun with you guys.
In the beginning, I was like the odd one out cos everybody knew almost everybody else. And the only two people I know always fly my kite:( so I was just the sit there one corner never talk person.
But, thankyou guys for accepting me into your family(:
I really really enjoy and treasure every single moment spent with each and everyone of you (:
From prog to logs to leaders, everybody. Like really really everybody, just love you guys so much. Even though I do disturb some of you guys. But is just for fun. Hehe. If I could, I would like hug y'all and keep y'all with me forever!

Camp is coming and I'm really really excited. But at the same time kind of sad too. Cos I don't want our magical moments to end! I really really hope our bonds go way way way beyond just this camp alone. and last till forever.

Y camp sept'12 comm, one that I'm proud to call family <3

Through this few months, and through everything, really really appreciate this two wonderful dears so so so much. None other than my dearest buttbutt and 三姐! Words can't describe how I really feel. Just manymanymany thanks for always being there for me, putting up with my nonsense, for the constant encouragement and also for always putting a smile on my face (: I really really love you guys so much<3 we go for the flyer ride tgt ouhkay! :D and don't forget our ikea date too!

This group of amazing people, if I ever have the chance again, I would definitely love to work with you guys again. Thankyou for bringing so much joy and meaning to my Monday nights. These precious memories, will be one that will forever be remembered.

In just one more day, our fairy tale will unfold. Our magic is gonna take place. And I'm sure we'll be able to make it through together and make a difference in the lives of the kids.

Sept'12 comm, iloveyou ! We can do this! JIAYOU ! :D

i can only imagine ~ (:

070712, Sam and angeline's day(: Honored to be part of their day and also to be able to play with yangyang. This boy super cute (: I guess we were all nervous while waiting for the march in to start. So we were sitting on the piano bench and talking. Jokes and random stuffs. In a way can laugh and not think bout everything so much. Really grateful for this person in my life (: For guiding me through my piano journey and for everything. After finishing the march in song he shook my hand somemore. Like mark the end of the job or sth. Maomao say I look like some Disney princess. didn't get to take photo with all of them:( ohwell.. There's still next time. The YMCA people say I look different.. How different can it be.. Is just a dress and makeup.. Usually wear shorts and Tshirt. Very different meh.. Haha. Came back sleep and then I did my elearning (: yaye (: hahaha.

Safe and sound ~ (:

Yupp so CTs are over... Failed one expecting to fail another and hopefully the other two can pass. Env was unexpected... Even though spent most time on it... ohwell... Well shan't complain bout it. Cos they say effort=result. And I didn't really study fr this CT anyways..

Kids camp.. New experience I would say. Leading a group of girls is no easy task. Discussions can talk to them until just feel like crying and giving up. That's how bad it was.

And not going to shanghai anymore. Won't give up my bio for a trip . Shall stand firm in my decision.

And tmr , BINTAN ! :D

another door will be opened (:

when one door closes another will be opened. lead to a place filled with so much better stuffs (:
well i guess my plans is not His plan. what i want may not be what He wants to give.
disappointed but i guess He knows what is best.

so didnt get into maincomm. but it's okay. well, now dont need to choose between oac and oip anymore. cos if get in must think. well now with the results out, there's nothing to hold me back anymore. can just go for shanghai trip (:
was selected out of the almost hundred people. so should make the best out of the chance given to me (:
well i guess is also good in a way cos dont have so much things to stress over and more time for other stuff too.
cos honestly i have no idea where my new journey with frogpole will lead me to. and also how this journey will be like.
kind of trying to bond with the kids. guys are friendly, existing leaders are helpful, girls are shy? idk. hopefully this will be a fruitful and fun journey (:
hope i dont let isaac and yang down. hopefully can be a good friend/role model to the kids.
no experience in anything at all. but i know He'll bring me through.

studies are just so ........ super lagging behind. with common tests just around the corner, hopefully can find enough time to study everything. stresssss D: also with all the ycamp stuffs D: bangwall:(

on the bright side, today was lab with briek :D he so cool luh! and nice to look at. hahaha. think today totally spoil impression D: cos was looking at stuff and talking to nev and very noisy and he look over and ask what happen. sighhhh. Last CEL today :D no more reports to write after i finish the current one :D

so today. yahhididcryforawhile. so what. i dont care. cos i got the love from my dear RRs and jiajia and friends <3
have i mentioned that i have the sweetest freshies ever. THEY ARE THE SWEETEST EVER <3
texted gerald and kim with this one sentence "i didnt get in" and their replies can make you gan dong until tear de. haha.
just so happen that ewt having director talk thingy then saw jamie and chunkiat. this cute girl asked me to cheerup even though i didnt say anything to her. and chunkiat told me that everything's alright and that this kind of thing dont need care de. even now, my dear kim still asking if im alright or not. went to look for jiajia after lab. thank God for putting that sweet girl in my life <3 gave me one hour of her time and talked to me and cheered me up (: and also for froggy! unexpected but had a nice short talk with you (: love you all so much <3 feel so blessed (:

idw my impression of you to change totally. not change for the better but for the worse. i really dont want that to happen. but im sorry. your actions have just made all our impressions of you change. always we have respected you and had very good impression of you. but now, it's just all gone. just that one thing that you did. it spoilt so many people impression of you. is this what you really want.... idk.. just.... all the best to you.

So for the past seven weeks ... Almost everyday in school . First five weeks planning and preparing for foc . Sixth week foc . seventh week csop and d4f . And school's starting in 10 hours ..
So foc ... Fun , laughter , tears , anger . I think almost every emotion also have . Day before foc got the clear pump thing .... At first was damm pissed and the more the person out there talks the more i scolding inside .. Then somehow just towards the end already then start crying .
So foc . Human chain . Damm boring . Stand there feed mosquitoes .. Stupid Joshua still laugh .. Say from before he gym till he finish I still there ..
Then went to continue do telematch setup .
Then at night A&D . Stupid shirt become so translucent .... Pirate cove got so many presents . So so so many bruises . Most memorable thing would be the part where we thought the freshie really having menses . She wear red shorts . Then when she sit the water turn red . We all stun and thought is menses but actually is just her shorts de colour come out . If really is I think we all cry le . Caz the water got make our faces .
Next day . Station game . Shooting stars :D even though tie bomb bag till got blisters , was super fun . The company was awesome . Sit there talk and laugh and tie bomb bags .
GL skit ! So fun :D glad that all enjoyed it .
And then night walk . Got successfully scare freshie :D hahah . But also feeding mosquitoes D: end up with 30+++ bites :( the rain spoilt all the tunnels :( then no more scary feel ...
Last day : finally get to interact with my dear RR freshies . Super cute people . They rmb my name (: (: so sweet . Even acted out the skit again for us before leaving .
Then the super damm long debrief and all the nonsense . Then somehow become mass crying session . Unexpected things happen . Gambit like all hug and cry tgt . It's been a year . Love you guys so much <3
And csop . Glad that my class rmb me .. Think I didn't really do a good job as welfare . Never really entertain them that much . Sometimes even don't know what to say or do .
Really love RR freshies <3 Kenny like so sweet (: (: and they all so cute . Can I hug them all :( stupid Gerald cheat my feeling . Say he not RR de .
Oh wells .
Kinda glad for this foc . Bring so many of us closer (: closer to ain Carissa weisheng and many more . Ytd's outing they really take care of me (:
Gonna miss them so much ! :(

SHANGHAI;HANGZHOU;SUZHOU;SHANGHAI

Back from china :D
Super fun and enjoyable trip . Like best ever . So much better than Thailand tip .
First day was at shanghai . Good thing the tour guide accent not super strong and he don't have typical china face . Haha . Then went many places .
Orient pearl tower , wax museum , etc .
Second day at hangzhou . The local guide there most impressive . Can speak English . And the scenery there is wonderful . Went to watch the story of west lake performance at night . And the next day went to tea plantation . And eat dong po Rou . Fat die . The special part is the fat ...
Scenery at west lake is (Y) damm nice !
Next went Suzhou ! Went silk factory and can't rmb what else . Then back to shanghai ! De ren jewellery shop and tong ren tang medical hall then Night cruise along the bund . Won twenty over small pink and white pearls there (: caz guess most close to actual number of pearls in the shell .
Then next day shopping ! (: but nth to shop luhh . The places went to got Nothing I like ..
Bought kuma phone cover after hunting for so so long . Touched . Dad run around whole shopping center to find it for me . Didn't know until someone else told me . Say thought he rush around to find sth he want but actually is to find my cover . Then bought earphones too . Not original but still is good .
Stayed at uncle Ronnie's house . Damm nice the house . Three levels . Slept at second level . The rest slept at third . Got this antique bed there . His family heirloom. Then koup the tea leaf pillow . Damm nice . When sleep got the tea de fragrance and wake up hair got smell also .
What I miss most would be the weather and flowers ! Super super nice . Can don't open window or on aircon/heater and it's still cold .
If can I don't mind staying there also . Very very nice place there . If got chance I would want to go back again . Really nice place and experience .

stupid day .
which part of 930 do people not understand ...
stupid . wait till what . almost eleven then start the meeting .
then blahblahblah . all the stupid stuff that happen .
then the good stuff .
thank goodness my dear girl's intern is in school :D
then can go find her .
that short phone call and that meetup where just pour everything out and talk random stuff really made everything feel better (:
thankyou dear <3 hope you weren't late for your next appointment .
then chat with imran while waiting for the rest to come .
like what he say is true lo . keep saying family . but where's the family. there's no family . i dont feel it . and it's been almost a year ?
talking about the bond, the one that i could really feel would be for s&w group. that one is really can feel the bond super strong . super love my CHICKEN <3 . though it was just three weeks of knowing each other, can really really really feel the bond .
then dinner :D CRAB :D :D damm nice the crab :D
talked bout everything and anything and just had a great time there (:

the love and respect for The Wanted is like so hard to explain. maybe you'll just call it an obsession . but it's not . they are more than a band. they really care . like today when it wasnt even their fault they tried to make things better also . and how often do bands/singers write songs with their fans in mind . and the song is still specially like trying to say that they will be there for us . dont get why people compare them to 1D also . they are different ! like what Tom said , the reason why i like the band is because of the music. the songs are songs that can relate to. and their looks and personalities are just bonuses. they are amazing people <3
so here's the song that they wrote for us (:

I'll be your strength - The Wanted

This is not gonna last forever
It's a time where you must hold on
And I won't let you surrender
And I'll heal you if your broken

We can stand so tall together
We can make it through the stormy weather
We can go through it all together
Do it all together
Do it all

I'll be your strength
I will, I will, I will
I'll be your strength
Yes I will, yes I will

I won't sleep till the sky is calmer
Keep on searching till I've found you
And my love will be your armour
In this battle field around you
Hand in hand we walk together
We can make it through the stormy weather
We can break down walls together
Do it all together
Do it all

I'll be your strength
I will, I will, I will
I'll be your strength
Yes I will yes I will

Hold on
Hold on
I'll be.. there soon
So hold on
Hold on
I'll be ..there soon

So hold on
Hold on
I'll be.. there soon
So hold on
Hold on
I'll be there

I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be
I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be


I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be
I'll be your strength
I'll be
I'll be

I'll be your strength
I'll be strong for you
I'll be your strength
And I'll keep strong for you.

i.dont.know.

How to choose . Between training and pulse . There's not even a choice ! Because training camp and foc is compulsory . Go training camp = cannot go worship prac . Which means two months no play . Saw the disappointment in yang's eyes but he still very understanding and say it's okay . But it's not okay . I feel bad luhh ! And now opening up the planner I saw prep camp + actual foc got one of the day is Sunday . Tell me now how . That Sunday just so happens to be the Sunday that we have to go to the new cells . And yet again have to disappoint yang . I really don't know how . Both important to me . Yet I can't make a choice of which to go because one is compulsory ! But the other is a responsibility . ugh ! This WEEK's challenge : love the unlovable . Now I'm like super angry with myself already . If don't love self how to love others . Ugh . Confirm cannot meet the challenge one luhh ! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

up up here we go ~

exams are 3/4 over :D last paper to go .on Friday though :( on the bright side ,more time to play and rest first .hehehe . Tmr going out play the whole day D: going gardenia factory then go pungol park . Take it that giving brain a break ba (: So far the papers have been idk ... Not very confident :( hopefully can score bahhh . Icbe today was ...... :( cheated ! You say similar to that question then come out so different :( sighs . Saw mama and roypa at busstop after paper . Saw mama before paper too (: They so cute ! Love them alotalotalot <3 Second time roy cheered me up le (: haha . But this time got mama also (: just finished the tea only (: Thank God for awesome friends (:

:(

Stupid back's killing me .... :( So Sunday was just a bit pain. Like really little . Then Thursday slipped and hit the same place that pain and tada . More pain . Irritating thing . Just makes you want to lie there do nothing . Which I cant . Caz is exams . Today not really there when woke up but when squat down the pain just bam . Just came and dont want go away . Other than the top left back that's been hurting , now the tailbone? Also ? Sighhh . Pain go away okay .

you make me crazier ~

Using brother's earphone nao .heh .I like . The bass is (Y) . so it's exams again . Friday seems so near yet so far . Before that , s&w ! The three weeks spent with CHICKEN was really awesome (: didn't really contribute much to the making of the final dance . But the whole process was fun (: Even justis say can see our bond (: And also my dear stupid boy's birthday ! (: thirteen years young now (: Dont grow up so fast lei :( Feels like just ytd you were a little kid . Idk why but I just feel super fail as a sister .... Is like I've been neglecting him since this year ? Idk .... On some days I don't even get to see him .. Wake up and he's not around and when I reach home at night he's already asleep .. And it's been so long since I last bought sth decent for him . Or rather , anything at all . Instead now is like the other way round . My dear boy is always suprising me with stuff . And he'll let me go find it out myself . If never realize then he will say . He even calls to ask if I want to buy anything when he goes out . And even calls to ask if I want him to buy lunch back for me or nt .. Isn't that like what im supposed to do ... And not the other way round . It feels like I'm the younger one instead . Forever letting me crash in his room . And never chasing me away . Letting me use his tummy/butt as pillow . And never move away until I get up . Like just now I doing my stuff he came lie down beside me .from the corner of my eye he just looks like the 5/6 year old him .that cute small boy .now still very cute luhh . That time already feeling quite bad . He wanted show me sth .asked him give me five mins then he went away . And then after five mins I didn't go find him . After super long later then he came back and asked me again . Lying on the chair then he pull my leg .. Remind me of my babyboy . Always pulling my hand . Idk why but I just feel like I've failed as a sister ? Instead of caring for him , it becomes like the other way round . Even the changing of his voice ... I never realized it .. Until today . On the phone . Then i was like woahhhh become so deep . Sighs . Fail much ....

i'll be your strength ~

Well . Nahhh . Not really that strong enough during this period :( more like I need someone to be my strength . Haha . Sick sick and more sick . Sighs . So it started out as cough . Now is almost two weeks le . Chu xi night/ chu yi morning when the people all burning paper I almost died . Didn't close window before sleep and all the smoke and stuff in the air . Then woke up and start coughing like siao . Like nonstop cough and was really really bad . Like if it didn't stop then will have asthma again ... It got better then got worse again ... Sad life . Before it even recovered , now diarrhea . Sighhhhhhh . Whyyyy . :( like almost every hour have to go toilet once :( sometime interval long sometimes short :( don't know cause yet ...... Don't know if is the food also . Caz all the people that also eat it got nothing wrong ... Haiii . Maybe is just me . I'm just the weird one Huhh . Dear me , please recover faster . And immune system why you suddenly so weak :( must stronger ! I want my old self back . The never fall sick self .. Idw this keep on sick self :(

when im with you , i'll make every second count

Heh . Today's baby's birthday ! :D dearest baby turns two (: hope my dear baby boy grows up to be a good boy (: he's already super smart . Cannot trick him de . Haha . Went bukit timah market for lunch (: the tau Huey is (Y) . Damm nice . Supersuper smooth . I like . Haha . And my dear stupid surprised me with caramel milk tea (: just left it in the fridge for me to go find out myself . So sweet (: hahaha . Stupid's maturing too (: went to buy udders . Deciding between rum&raisin and cookie&cream . Couldnt decide which to get so asked him . And his reply is (Y) . " get cookie and cream ! Dont get alcohol . Cookie and cream better . Cheaper also " hahaha . So cute right (: so fast grow up le but deep down you're still my baby (: hahaha . Still will always be that small boyboy (: and my small boy's gonna turn 13 in a WEEK's time (: idk what to get for him :( howwwwww :( Coughing like siao now :( virus passed to me by stupid :( really the rate which I'm coughing is mad . Even coughed till tear .. As if chest pain not enough .... Haiii . Hopefully can faster recoverrrr :(

super bad day today ...
first EDCA . seriously luhh . what's your problem you stupid teacher . half the class struggling and there you are zooming away . we ask for help . all you give is stare and then ignore us . you are a teacher for a reason .you're paid to teach . not give attitude . we try so hard to get your attention . and you ignore . that bitch barely raised her hand and you devote all your attention to her . k can . so now you like people that dress like whores/sluts . k can . stupid tiko .

then KE . seriously damm stupid their system . since day one already giving us colour to see .what we do to you . nothing right . me and jac never go is obviously got reason de right .never go for cca is because of s&s . and that's like what 3 or 4 times only . and you say our attendance like shit and not giving us any points . k can . in the beginning already say very clearly that we wednesday cannot make it . and by accepting us into KE means you already accept the fact that we cannot commit on wednesdays . then now . you choose new comm . for VP you put some girl that is same case as us . only that she cannot come on mondays and just go on wednesdays . but then again . even the teacher dont know who she is and she come also just go talk to seniors . what kind of nonsense is this . not saying that me and jac want post or anything . but where is the fairness . you say our attendance like shit and give us warning . then your dear darling vp dont get anything . WHAT IS THIS . and you all lousy to that extent that have to bribe people to stay in the cca . " if give you position in main comm will you be more committed to the cca " WTF . WHAT NONSENSE IS THIS . is bribery luhh . say already more pek chek only ...
shall see what happens on wednesday . will it be an uprising/rebellion or will everything go smoothly .

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Haiii . Phone spoil again . Same problem again . Don't want make sound . Exam in a month's time . So not prepared . To stay or to quit KE .. Really tempted to quit ... Feel so lost . Stupid feeling . K wtv Idw care . Face getting worse again . Siannnnnnnnnnn .

too jiro wan too

Yupp so it's now 2012 . One year pass so fast . So many things happened . All th ups and the downs . I'm sure they all happened for a reason . Through it all ,I guess did grow and learn stuff ? Learnt that I suck at planning . Will stress Alot alot . But last time got WILLIAM LEE . And we plan event also never so tou tong . Everything all go smoothsmooth . that's really like strength compliment weakness thingy . yuppp . Soooo . PULSE EVENT . was glad that it went smoothly (: first ever event that COOL organized (: glad to see th rest having fun also . Then thanksgiving that time , got th paper which said " give thanks for someone from school " . Tbh . There is no particular someone . Is more of like a lot of someones. All too precious to pick out just one . My BFFF & SEITH , you guys were the ones that came to mind first . Thank God for the both of you (: for always being there . No matter school or personal stuff . Always there But most importantly , Thank God for him (: for being so so awesome (: for keeping me safe . For blessing me with so much . And for really letting me experience you in many situations . For the peace and comfort . And your love <3 thankYOU for the cross <3