Tuesday, July 15, 2008

BOO!(:

warning. recently im emotionally n mentally unstable so if i scream at you for no reason or wad try to understand and if suddenly verii high or cry or wad oso try to understand. tankyew.

first wan tank the ppl who cheered me up n care for me. haha. not in any order. Josel.TianLan. Carissa. ShaYue.Nichol.Apple.Leon.WeiXiang.ZiQing.SinYee.MengYeow. oni rmb all these. haha. thx for the hugs n msges and stuffs. haha. most of all ShaYue dearie who's always been there for me.when i first read the msg i couldn't take it or accept the fact.content of the msg.dun wan tell ur.its sth correct le.den started crying.she pei me go toilet for dunno how long den aft tt walk back to klass i started crying outside back door dere again.she still pei me.never make ani noise.den aft tt go into klass i juz sit dere do nth eye water-y de.lunch go find TianLan.lunch was the worst.before tt i juz ren n forcing myself not to cry.den aft tt lunch see TL cant ren anymore.started crying lyk shyt. those who saw better forget how i look lyk. caz i look verii bad. haha.

went drama aft tt caz mummy sure wont allow me go tt place find them de.so juz concentrate super hard on all those n block out everything bud in the end i still feel super lost. den mummy came home awhile den went back to the place again. felt super lost. super confused. super scared. super worried. n even developed fear of ringing fones. it may sound stoopid to ur bud if ur goin thru wad im going thru den maybe its not stoopid animore.

i dun wanna come home everyday n face an empty house. so dark. so empty. no one to talk to. juz me myself n i at home. no laughter. no nth. sumtimes i juz nid a hug to feel better. bud no one's there. no one to talk to. lyk last nite i couldn't slp. i wanted to find sumone for a hug. bud daddy n bro slping le. den mummy not in. i really wished tt she could be sittin beside me telling me everything would be alright and nth would go wrong.n gif a hug to reassure tt nth will go wrong. bud no. i was sittin on the bed staring at the rain for i dunno how long den couldn't slp at all. kept waking up. wanted to cry along with the rain. kaay im crazy. bud really couldn't. no water liao. n eyes still pain frm all the crying during lunch. so juz sat there staring at the rain.. finally fell asleep at one plus.. din really sleep well..


i wish everything will be okaay. no hurt no nth. if its ur will to take him away so tt he wont suffer anymore pls prepare all of us mentally n emotionally. n take him peacefully n not when he's struggling. i dun wanna see him in pain animore. it hurts to see him in tis state. n everyone else liddat too.



galfwen.. if i really cry real bad in sku will u really be there for me? i really dunno how long i can ren animore. i'll really go crazy if sth happens.. when tt time comes n its in sku n if its during lessons will u still be there? haha. i dunno.. well maybe its too much to ask frm you ba. thx loads for ytd. (:

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