ohh see see <3

Yepppp . So camp was last week . But still . Fun (: Relived FOC times (: just with different people . Forever with nana . Foc , oac , trial camp . Even roypa also know . See le then will give th face . Ohwell . Foc confirm not same le . Love deardear alot (: while waiting for night walk let me lie on her sleep . Haha . Then during camp whenever not in groups confirm talking to each other . Idk bout next year . But let's make whatever time we have left count (: Was telling Jan if had to guy girl pair for night walk and if have to choose from own group , I want go with alvis and really in th end they group us together . So qiao . Haha . So go walkwalk . When in front of close Friends , will tend to show real feelings more . Both scared but he still brave (: do almost everything . Nice friend (: haha . While waiting for th rest to finish went sit at kerb there sleep. Sleep halfway suddenly cough alot then got one hand come pat me (: hehehe . Turns out to be huaihui <3 at first got bigbig gap between us but after that no gap anymore then orhorh till everybody finish . Then play more games th next day then me happy that jiajia like her present (: wheeeee (: everybody going overseas now :( I also want lehhhh :(

LOVE

i like how past few weeks sermon and msges from people tie in nicely and fit in nicely (: it just makes everything nicer in a way ? like how can just have more time to think about everything. and just reflect ? these few weeks , the word LOVE just seems to pop out . it’s like the main message of everything. below are just some stuff that i took away . it’s really like back to basics . but the whole meaning just became so much clearer.

what is Christmas ? it isnt bout presents and lights and everything . but it’s all about Jesus . and th greatest gift of all : LOVE . He could have been born at a later time where his death could be more merciful but no . He was born there and then so as to identify with every pain and suffering that we go through. He chose to suffer with us and for us . in all the sufferings, He went beyond the demands of suffering into the demands of love. He is love . He gave His son for us as he could not bear to watch millions of souls trapped in hell eternally .
Christmas is not just a birth of a baby but the birth of a promised one that will save us.
so you say. why was he not born in an inn or some high class place . reason being , He was born in the stable next to lambs and other animals to show that one day He will be the lamb that will be sacrificed for us . first people that knew about the birth were shepherds and at that time they were considered the lowest class people and unclean and unworthy. this just goes to show that no matter who we are and no matter how the world sees us , God loves us (:
everyone wants to be accepted and loved the way they are. but how often can we really accept people just the way they are . that is human nature to judge and all . but God accepted us just as we are . for me , i do try . but it is definitely not one of the easiest tasks . one of our greatest needs is to be loved and God is love and only he can meet this need .
let’s say you watched this movie where it shows a man abusing his kids and beating up his wife and doing so much evil. yet in the end, he strikes the jackpot at the casino and th movie ends with him being rich and happy. we would expect that he would be punished but yet he goes away a happy man. at this time we may be questioning , “where is justice?”.
It is said that when we die, there will be judgement. if our life was played out as a movie for all the people to see, what will we see ? anger? laziness? shameful events ? personally , i think that mine will be of stuff that i dont want people to know . yes my life isnt all that perfect and have done wrong at one point or another .
after watching the previous movie, we expect the guy to be punished. but after watching our own movie, wont there also be consequences for our actions ? It is said that THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH. but God does not want us to suffer in hell . and to save us He gave up His only son. One death to save many . our greatest problem/fear is death in hell. but it is this child that can make a difference. With this love, death will not have the last say but God will have the last say .
Who else can give us this love except God .

So what does Christmas really mean to you? Is it just the dazzling lights, or the hustle and bustle of preparing present, or just another holiday? There is a very special gift. A gift that is FREE for all. The greatest gift in the world. The gift is LOVE. The unconditional LOVE of God, is the best gift ever. Love so great that he sent his one and only son for us. For this purpose, Jesus was born in the manger to bring God’s LOVE to us. Jesus was born to bring all of mankind closer to God. Even if you travel to the ends of the earth, you are unable to find a greater LOVE than this. This is better than all the riches of the world. It is waiting outside your heart, waiting for you to open up your heart to accept this wonderful gift. Whoever believes in Him, shall not parish but have eternal life. He is the BEST gift ever. :)

NEVER ALONE . NEVER UNLOVED . FOREVER LOVED .

look into your eyes , imagine life without you ~

ahaha . so th title has nothing to do with this. it just so happens to be the lyrics of the song that im listening to.

went sentosa yesterday :D
when first reached there didnt have umbrella so walked in th rain . then suddenly got shelter . then turn around and see ian . so nice right (: then we go playplayplay and more play (:
and so yesterday explored sentosa barefooted . cool or cool . hahaha . rest of the groups take bus/monorail to next destination and my group everything on foot . doesnt matter if we came in last . it's the experience that counts .walking through the forest . with some areas flooded and running all around . finding our way together .
didnt matter if th whole day rain . was still fun when we all ran around together in the rain .
then blahblahblah . stuff happened then blahblahblah . then went arcade . thankyou roypa <3 for lending your card (: and also for mrt ride back that time we talk . helped to take mind off things (: yupp . another day then we continue our convo again (: mrt ride too short to finish .ahahaha .

you make me smile :D

Second best weekend yet . CT officially over and did better than expected for ochem (: right after last paper came home and planned on sleeping but went to watch Dolphin Tale instead . Nice show (: then went cycling at night :D Awesome company (: and th weather super nice also . So Saturday morning was spent doing that and Late afternoon onwards till night was really fun . Like how it's just a few of us then we can just talk about anything and everything . Really like htht instead of casual convo . Too big group = can't achieve that . And today . Idk why but just happy th whole day (: and bought shirt again .. Just got two from threadless and now bought another ..not from threadless though . Oh well . All 3 very cute (: and jiahao bought th right sweet from japan for me :D happy me :D now got th super nice mint milk sweet :D talked to deardear today too <3 hehehe . And Gonna meet dear tmr :D

three down one to go . past two papers have been demoralizing .? idk .. just have that bad feeling bout it ..
studies aside ... have a feeling that my life is super off focused now . is like focused on the wrong aspects of it all . like what he said . why spend so much time on studying for just that 2 hours or dont know what paper. results arent everything . and th thing that really is important is not earthly stuffs/riches . then went to a certain caterpillar's tumblr and saw a similar post . bout earthly riches arent everything thing .
maybe it's a sign ? a sign that i should start correcting the path and make it back on track again ?
i guess in this society , it's just pushing you towards grades and all . without grades, what can we do ? everything is grades grades and more grades . the better your grades are, the better it is .
in the process ,i guess i just started to loose myself . getting pushed and confined by grades and studying . wanting to please the parents and maybe self expectations . expectations . they can either help or kill . so we do have expectations of ourselves and sometimes when we dont meet them , i'll just feel totally sian . like sometimes even though outside im like yeah everything's fine . it's just a grade its nothing . but inside is like wthhhhhhhhhh . whywhywhy .
sigh . i guess this correcting of path aint gonna be easy . it's easy to say oh sure im gonna fix my eyes on that cross and just ignore everything else in this world . but in reality , it's hard . like how they push you , step on you and all . sometimes everything just gets blurred and focus is lost . hopefully can get back the focus before it's all too late ....

pathetic .

And so begins th CT week . Starts of with Maths paper . Amount of revision done for everything : pathetically little .... have a feeling that not gonna do well .... Don't know why this sem just don't have that motivation to study . And got a lot of memory work :( and my brain feels like there's so much stuff inside and nth can go in .... How to remember all th other stuff ....... And i got a feeling that migraine's on it's way ... Oh yaye ..... Feeling th sharp pains .it's like hit and go . Hit and go . Sian ttm . These few days stomach acting up again..... Keep on pain pain pain . Worst part is when lie down , th pain spreads out and diffuses .... No more concentrated . :( rather one area then whole thing pain ... Back to CT .. maths is th only thing that I have confidence for . Th rest .... Not really ... Obc ... Eltech ... Icbe ... Eltech is like pure physics all over again . The torture . :( Already looking forward to the holidays even before CT even starts . Just hope that all goes well ............

:D:

Just depends how you look at it . :D: can be happy face and at th same time a sad face . So .... S&S is over . That's like one chapter closed . Smiles joy tears laughter fun everything . Memories to keep . Three months of work . Yupp . Waiting for the videos to be up . Tbh .when th curtains opened and half th LT was empty I was kinda disheartened ? Like they all just come to watch their friends perform then after that leave . Are we not worthy of their attention . Everything we went through since the start was just for this . Amount of tears shed can like become river for some country le . For th past few months there were this group of people that were always there for me ever since the very start of it all . Azhar , Clara , Varina , Jacqueline , Si Jia , Zijian , Prescilla , Ian , Alee , Weijie , Jan . These few people kept me going and I'm really grateful for them (: we cried we smiled we laughed we played . But through it all , I guess indeed we did grow closer (: thankyou for your ears and hugs and everything (: love you <3 And so CT next week . So not prepared . So dead . parents plus some people giving additional stress . Plus no motivation at all . Really really dead . Today was yet another roller coaster I would say .ups and downs th whole day . Broke down just now ... It just came just like that and poof . And th pain sets in . You know me you will know when I'm irritated/agitated/sad th idk what nonsense thing will start to hurt ALOT . so th pain intensified . Th more I think th more it hurt and th intensity increase . Sigh . I don't know . Messed up much . Yes I would say so . Messedupgirllivinginhermessedupworld :(